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“I-is this Sammi?” The voice was nervous. Very nervous.“Yes, it is,” I replied.The voice hesitated again but finally spoke. “My name is Grace, and I-I-I saw your advert online.”“Sorry to disappoint Grace, but my ex put that up as a way to get back at me.”“Oh,” Grace said in a small voice. She then gave a nervous laugh. “Figures that it wasn’t real, the good ones never are real.”“Sorry,” I said again.“Well… Have a good night,” Grace said, hanging up.I stared at the fading light of my phone screen before slowly placing it back down next to me. I felt shaken up inside, but I didn’t know why. Was it the fact that a female had read the ad, however fake? Was it her polite nervousness? It occurred to me that she too could have been fake, used by some creep trying to increase his chances of success, but my gut was telling me that wasn’t the case. She didn’t strike me as being fake.Sleeplessly laying in bed that night, listening to the patter of constant rainfall on the roof, my insides were. I've got to go back to the lab andget checked out.****Entry 15.I'm crying so hard its hard to write this out. Something has gone wrongwith my transformation, and its .... undoing itself. The pain I was inwas from my insides re-arranging back to male mode. The lab boys areworking hard, but nobody can seem to figure out why.***Entry 16I lost my womb. Despite how much I disliked my periods, I'm just ....devastated. I was actually looking forward to maybe being a mom some day.Now it will never happen.****Entry 17My male bits are coming back out. I asked about surgery, but they told meit would be dangerous until my transformation is complete.I honestly don't know how to wait that long.****Entry 18Its all over.I'm back to being the ugly, male thing I was before this started. Worse,they tried to give me some female hormones to see if I could transitionthe normal way, but it appears that I cant handle them.So I'll never be a woman now.So how do I live with that?****Entry 19Is it better that.
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